Networking Without the Fear
Do you feel nervous about networking? Do you struggle to feel authentic when you're trying to connect with new people? This sense of inauthenticity often stems from a specific underlying belief: that the person in front of you knows more than you do.
You might worry that because they are "the expert," you are going to "do it wrong," say the wrong thing, or make a mistake. Consequently, you put on a mask to protect yourself, which only leads to feeling even more disconnected and fake.
When you find yourself in this spiral of anxiety, there are usually two specific forces at play: The Hierarchy Trap and Your Inner Critic.
The Hierarchy Trap: When we feel nervous, we are often viewing the interaction through a distorted lens of hierarchy. You might unconsciously decide that the person in front of you is "higher" than you—more expert, more accomplished, or more valid. You place them on a pedestal and place yourself beneath them.
But here is the truth we often forget: The person in front of you is not higher than you. They are simply another human being. When you remove that imaginary pedestal, the dynamic shifts from a performance to a conversation.
Your Inner Critic - The Judge: This perceived hierarchy is often constructed by your own mind—specifically, your inner "Saboteur." The Judge is the master critic who constantly finds fault in you. It whispers that you aren't smart enough, that you don't belong, and that if you act naturally, you will be exposed.
This voice creates fear and self-doubt. It convinces you that you must hide your true self to survive the interaction, robbing you of the authenticity you actually need to connect.
Shifting Your Intention
How do you stop feeling like a fraud and start feeling authentic? The key is to set a clear intention before you walk into the room or join the call.
Often, we go into networking with the unconscious intention: "I need to impress them" or "I hope I don't look foolish." This focus on yourself feeds the anxiety.
Instead, try shifting your intention to curiosity and connection:
Old Intention: "I need to prove I know as much as they do."
New Intention: "I want to get to know this person. I want to understand their perspective."
This shift moves you from a place of fear to a place of Exploration, expanding your thinking and opening up new possibilities. It changes the dynamic from a "test" you have to pass to a genuine conversation.
Moving Forward
Networking doesn't have to be a performance. It is just a conversation. By acknowledging your fears and challenging the belief that others are "superior," you can prepare yourself mentally to show up as your true self.
Stuck and don't know what to do next?
If you are circling the same thoughts without finding a clear path forward in your networking, let's chat. In just 45 minutes, we can work together to figure out a way to find your authentic voice.
